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Simple Math

Ellipticals + Judging Amy = muy enjoyable and rapido workout.

When I first had Benja we moved from St. Louis to Utah for J to go back to school. I was adjusting to motherhood, nursing, not working, b00bs with their own orbital path, no social life, and going from a dual income to no-income lifestyle. Because I'm a realist and pragmatic, I knew, and let it be known, that I would absolutely need cable television to make this transition possible. So I spent my mornings cooing at my newborn, taking pictures of him until my pointer finger calloused, and watching Law & Order and Judging Amy reruns. It was a good life. I actually grew weary of the Law & Order formula, but NEVER of Judging Amy. I could spend hours watching Maxine tell it like it is, try to be gracious, but end up ripping someone a new one. Or Donna. Donna Kozlowski. If ever there was a character that can consistently make me laugh, she's the one. What gets me is, that the dumb show can get me EVERY time. Today Judge Grey returned a Croatian boy to his parents and I wiped sweat from my brow and choked back tears. What is THAT!? I'm in a gym, on an elliptical watching a tv that's 30 feet away for crying out loud! Regardless, I'm thrilled to be watching Judging Amy while I work out.

Judging Amy+ellipticals-soda+some semblance of self control=2.5 pounds lost.
And I can gar-own-tee I won't be looking for them.
I'm on my way folks. I told every person in the gym that I passed. "You see this belly man? It used to be 2 and a half pounds heavier---that's right, feel that lack of chub, go ahead...."
By the way, as soon as my membership at this gym expires, I'll be looking for another gym. They informed me RIGHT AFTER I signed up that shirts must be worn at all times. I can't live with that kind of oppression.

8 Episodes of the first Season of Lost - one husband on business trip + 1 crime alert notice on front door = one jittery mama.

I gave the first disc (four episodes) of Lost a chance several months ago. It was such the rage, I figured I should give it a try. I scoffed upon those episodes. I was interested, but it didn't snag me, I was not a believer. Plus that whole "monster of undeterminable size and origin" was just too much for me to swallow. People got offended if I said I wasn't in to Lost. Then a few more months pass and Lost keeps being talked about and I decide to give it another try. Second Disc, 2 episodes in...I'm hooked. I watched 8 episodes in 2 days. I went to church and mentioned "Lost" and of course, the two women were avid watchers of the show. So I tried to bring up some commonalities and I'm all, "Whoa, can you believe Charlie lived? I SO thought he was dead. At first I thought he was alive, and then I was sure he was dead, and then he WASN'T---can you believe that..." Blank stares. Furrowed brows. Serious concentration. And then, "Oh sweetie, you're WAAAAAAAAAAAY behind." I wish that was the first time I've been told that. I'm gonna watch Monk and Arrested Development (a delightful discovery--prompted by other cool people referring to it) reruns until J gets back home cuz, scary shows - (minus) virile husband in close proximity= mama screaming through the neighborhood in her skivvies at 3am.

Verbose 3 year old + weekend at home with no obligations= Lots of laughs

Overheard this weekend:
Ha! I was just about to say that was fun!
When I'm a girl, will I shave my legs?
Avee wants to doe to McDonalds
I don't want it to be a five five five five five five five nap. Only a two.
Can I get out of my time out or not? No or yes? No or yes? (the backlash of the superb parenting technique of frequently giving choices)

Just now, from the computer I called for Benja to give him a toy he's been asking for all morning M: Benjaaaaaaaaaaa?
Benja: No! NO! NONONONO NO WAAAY!!
M: Huh? What's your problem?
Benja: (rounds corner and sees toy. Chuckles) Heh. I sotted you were doe-ing to tell me to take a nap.
M: Oh, and that certainly didn't prove you need one.
Benja: (trotting off happily, potato-head in hand) Nope, it sho didn't.

It shooooo didn't.

update: Someone just found my site by typing in "showing off their b00bs tv". Dang I knew I shouldn't have been so risque typing that part about my you know whats.

Tooooo funny (the Lost jitters). Hunky Hubby and I are addicts and can't wait for the new season!

I'm dying to get an elliptical, only my program of choice would be Grey's Anatomy. I started watching it in reruns a few weeks ago and am ashamed to say I am an addict!!!

Thanks for the linky and the AD reference... may it live on forever.

Guess what I did. ;)

Good for you on 2.5 pounds! Yeah!

Amber--Grey's is good! I really like it. I got on that train in the beginning though, so no rerun pleasure for me.

Millie--you are FUNNY. Love the new look, and the name! I see that its not just your furniture you like to move around....

I have a theory on weight! The world has only one amount of blubber so when one loses another gains... sooo stay away from me and keep it up:)

After a weekend of camping and s'mores and going way lax on the eating I found your 2.5 pounds and doubled it. I promise not to give it back. Keep up the good work - I'm on my way to the gym.

S--that theory depresses me. I think my body my have an affinity for FINDING the weight.

Cyndi--mmmmm s'mores....It's worth it, I'm sure.

Congrats on losing 2.5 pounds! That's awesome. I just have to say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Arrested Development. I was so sad when Fox cancelled it. However, even it doesn't hold a candle to my favorite TV show of all time-- The Office.

But you've got to admire the ability of certain bodies' ability to seek out, track down, and capture the renegade cankles and backfat rolls of the world...

I may have to change my childrens' book idea from "The Persistent Louse" to "The Renegade Backfat" -

See, your blog inspires me.

ps. your late discovery of popular tv series reminds me of my recent discovery of the Harry Potter books... I'm like, they're SO good! and people are like, um, yeahh?

Camille-Thanks. I remember you loving AD long before I knew what you were talking about. I was just telling my friend yesterday that AD and the Office are similar in their humor--if you like one you are bound to like the other. I have to admit, the thing I love about both is how they can make Jay laugh SO HARD, well into about 4 or 5 other funny scenes.

Emily, maybe you should hold out on how much I inspire you after you see what kind of market there is out there for children's books titled "Renegade Backfat". Either way, you make me laugh!
p.s. you should have seen the mayhem I created around here when I misheard a news report and thought Harry Potter 7 was being released THIS summer. What with the robes and wands to be found for the midnight release....

2.5 pounds the good old fashion way, congrats! W00T
Although, next time you loose 2.5 lbs, please, make sure they are released into the wild, neutered and tagged, so they can never find their way into our world.

I also rented the 1st disc of Lost on DVD, because I had never watched, but I didn't get hooked. So what you are saying is that I stopped one disc too soon. But now I'm way behind, oh, decisions...

Doe-ing a search for “sewing pattern juniors skinny jeans” will bring you to my site.
The person who came to your blog expecting some ‘TV b00bs’ action was in for a BIG surprise… “b00bs with their own orbital path”, bwahahahaha!

"Nope, it sho didn't"

PS. "What's the protocol on commenting on comments in someone else's blog?" Who knows, someone should write a post about that. Anyways, I'm laughing with you, see? :D

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