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31 Things I Know, Or Took 31 Years to Figure Out

Some things, like cake decorating, should be left to the experts. And, that I probably don't have to have a cake that looks like this because I won't be making it.








2. Some morning views are priceless.
(editor's note: Avee was not authorizing photo-taking by the general public, adoring fans, or close family. This first photo was taken without permission, resulting in full back diaperudity. However, upon noticing Benja's graciousness and even enjoyment of posing, a forward facing shot was permitted---courtesy of Avee's 432 moods per millisecond)

3. My mom was/is usually right. Today marks the 23rd anniversary of my surviving a trip across state line to see Savannah Smiles. A "friend's" mother took me to see a movie. My mom really didn't want me to go, I begged endlessly, and my mom made my 12 or 13 year old brother go with me. The woman picked us up from the theater intoxicated and later made us sit on a case of beer on the floor of her backseat when she was pulled over by a cop. I haven't seen that friend, or her mother, since. I wonder if my dad had a word with her when we got home. I wonder if she's even still alive...

4. I'm finally mature enough to be excited about something other than my birthday. J gets home at 2 PM!! (that's actual flight arrival time).

5. I can think of at least 57 things more traumatic than my flip-flop falling off or the ladder from my fire truck breaking.

6. The makers of Dora the Explorer should be forced to listen to her YELLING everything she says for hours, days, and weeks on end so that they can truly experience a mother's burning question of WHY? Why, why, why. Couldn't they create a clever, addictive, pretty good premise for preschoolers cartoon with a character that whispers, lives for naps, and obsesses over picking up after her self?

7. I do not respond well to feet in my face, ribs, or gut-- or punches to the chest at 6 am after mumbling, "no you cannot get up and watch tv and eat candy"

8. "Choose your battles" is sound advice.

9. Of all the really incredible women I know,

my mom is still the most.

10. I really don't like bananas.

11. Guacamole can be good!

12. Budgeting doesn't just "happen".

13. No sound makes me happier than my children giggling with each other.

14. Sometimes I lie for the sake of sentimentality---"you're beautiful" "Here's a check for 2 million dollars" and "Ben and Jerry's turns fat into muscle and stretch marks into an even, permenant tan" would probably make me happier.

15. Waking up to screen savers like this can make my heart smile.

16. Trying to come up with 31 things just because it's my 31st birthday is really more about being stupid and trying too hard, than it is about being clever.

17. Stupid is not a nice word.

18. I think I own the road. I get annoyed when people try to pass me or get in front of me or take too long to turn, or make me go slower than I want. I'm not proud of this, I'm just aware.

19. Being a good listener makes you a better friend than just about anything else you can do.

20. Being able to go to Sonic whenever you want, without having to ask for ride or borrow a car, scrounge money, or ask permission to go out isn't all it's cracked up to be. I find, car insurance, paying for gas, wasted money, and sonic blasts going straight to the thighs considerably more oppressive.

21. I do not like amusement park rides. In my younger days, Tilt-a-Whirl--bring it on. Superloop---not so much. When I was 9 or 10 my sister and I naively stepped aboard the Octopus or some other equally insane sea creature of terror and spent the entire ride screaming, "Stop the ride, we're gonna die" or "stop the ride, my vomit is getting on everyone". Just FYI, carnies stop those rides for no one.

22. I finally am better at applying lip liner than someone else.

23. I really think stupidity should be painful. I am a pretty patient and understanding person, but stupidity I just can't tolerate. Please note, I do distinguish between stupidity and ignorance. Stupidity: New employer:"So, one of your job duties will be to get the soda from the back storage closet and keep a cold supply in the refrigerator." Stupid person: "But, uh, but---I don't drink soda." I can scarcely type the words without falling off my chair in disbelief that this conversation actually took place.

24. Old friends are the best kind of friends.

25. Stop signs do not turn green. Do not wait for them to. It won't happen.

26. I still feel a little tinge of guilt for writing things like #23 because my mom really put a lot of effort into making me a nicer person than that.

27. I adore this man.

28. I will laugh EVERY time I hear my son say, "They were cones!" (or rather, "tones") and "Eat your food Tina!"

29. My creative abilities are spent at 28 when thinking up 31 things. Some may think it left at 13, but--whatever, this is my blog.

30. I think I have learned a lot about expectations, but I'm afraid I still have much to learn.

31. There is something to be learned from just about everyone we meet, and from every experience we have. I think happiness comes from discovering what.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN!

I think your 31 things is cool. I was thinking, oh, is this what we do for our birthdays? Now I know. I had no idea you just made it up today.

LOL @ #6, "obsessing about picking up after herself" ... SNL needs to do a spoof of anal-retentive Dora or 18th century Dora.

Sending you some virtual B&J's which, because it's for your birthday, will go directly to your hair and nails.

Naddin--You make me laugh EVERY day. Thank you!

Happy Birthday!!! Have a fantastic day!

HAAAAAAAAPPPPPPYYYYYY BIIIIIRRRRTTHHHHHDDDDAAAAAAYYYYY!

Hope it's super duper and grand.

I won't do 31 things, because, well, that might be creepy, but I want to say that my favorite thing I learn from you is your ability to laugh at yourself. You make other people feel really comfortable laughing at you too. :)

AND I just want to tell you that there is a woman *right now* standing in front of me (I'm at work) with a shirt which reads "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, B*$#@!" Kindred spirit, I'm sure.

Happy birthday! I hope your day goes really well.

Happy Birthday! I love your list. I agree Dora YELLS way too much.:) I am glad you stopped by my blog. I had saved your other blog and it was lost and I was so sad because I love reading your blog. Have a super day!

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you! have a great day!

I hate the way they repeat things on Dora. I hate the way they repeat things on Dora. I hate the way they repeat things on Dora.
Oh, and Happy Birthday!

GO GUACAMOLE!!!!

I've just found your blog and I'm totally hooked! You're going on my blog roll, as we speak...er, type. I'm also giving you a shout-out.

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