« Home | Bedtime Conversation » | Blue » | Life While My Brain is Sleeping » | Tbgv5ss » | And Then There Was The Update » | I Hope I Don't Spoil the Plot... » | Memo to Benja » | Learning To Say I'm Sorry » | Conspiracy Theory, Parenting Advice ... » | Bob the Tomato, Books, and "Benja!" »

Second Language

Yesterday I was filling out a form and one of the questions asked if I spoke a foreign language, and if so, which one. I stared at the box for a few minutes. I so wish I spoke another language. I wish that cute Eugenio hadn't sat next to me in high school Spanish and that I remembered even one simple conjugation from that semester. I wish my college Spanish teacher hadn't mistakenly thought he was a hot college student himself and spent the entire semester flirting with my cute classmates causing a Pavlovian response in me of wanting to puke when I heard some phrases, "AtenciĆ³n classe! Silencio por favor! Escuchan, escuchan..."

Here I sit, done for a while with formal education, knowing whatever goes in this ol' brain will have to be done by my own motivation and discipline. Two things I've managed without this far.

Then today as I was driving down the road, Benja asked if we could rent the movie Madagascar. I remind him that when he did have it to watch in the past, he had no interest---he didn't even watch it. To which he responded, "I had it when I was born yesterday." At which I laughed heartily and repeated to him. And he said, "Yes, when I was born yesterday at Home Depot." I realized then, that what he said made perfect sense to me. And I realized, I DO in fact know a foreign language. I can imitate it perfectly but my expertise comes more readily in comprehending, more than speaking. Benja was saying, "I watched that movie a long time ago (yesterday) when I was a lot younger than I am now (born) and when we lived in Utah in a fixer-upper and went to Home Depot two times a day and four times on Saturdays." It was quite remarkable what he was recalling.

I feel proud of my newly discovered bilingual status. So proud, that I thought I'd give a brief lesson on Benjaminese.

Some basics:

yester-day [yes-tow-day] Definition: Any time in my life before the present day. I was born yesterday, was 2 yesterday, had a train party yesterday, Avee was borned yesterday. When I meet new people, they often leave thinking I've had a very full week based on what I did yesterday. And that Avee is the largest 1 day old child known to man.

Punie Pooka! [poo-nee poo-cuh] Definition: Must be yelled in frustration, directed at nearest parent meaning, don't tell me what to do, I hate going potty when there are toy trains to be played with, I don't want to go to bed, I wish I wasn't born yesterday and still had to do what you tell me to do.

Now I'll Never....[Now I nevohhhhhh] (new phraseology recently adapted to Benjaminese) Definition: a. I can't believe I have to wait. b. I can't believe you are denying me my rights as a 3-year-old. c. My perspective on things is 100% accurate.

AVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! [Avee] Definition: a. My sister stole my train. b. My sister got her hands on the remote and changed the channel and then ran from the room laughing. c. My sister is beating me at my own game of "beat up my sibling". d. My sister stinks and keeps standing by me. e. My sister just stole food off of my plate again.

Why? [why? why? but why? and why? so, why? why, why, why] Definition: a. I would like to talk to you about this but my conversation skills are severely lacking. b. I am tired and I can see you are as well, I would like to drive you over the edge with one small word. c. I am my father's son and endlessly curious and inquisitive.

Popsicle [pop-suh-bow] one of the cutest words in the Benjaminese language. Definition: a suitable choice of food for every meal, every day.

Naaahhh [naaahhh] Definition: a. no b. no thanks c. NO WAY!!!

BACKPACK. MAP! MAP! MAP! EMPUJEN!! BUSH! OCEAN! COQUI ISLAND! BUSH! OCEAN!! COQUI ISLAND!!!! [just like it's written but I couldn't possibly write it as loud and as annoying as it is] Definition: I'm watching a cartoon about a little bilingual girl who likes to yell and be repetitive and has the same addictive effect on me as Kit-Kat bars have on my mother.

Then where are we going? [den where are we doe-ing?] Definition: I suspect you are driving home now but home is dreadfully boring, I would much rather drive around in this blazing Texas heat and run endless menial errands, if at all possible.

That will have to do for today's lesson. The rules aren't so hard and fast in this language. Once you get a handle on pronunciation, meaning can be applied indiscriminately. For example, today while at Bl0ckbuster, Ben shouted "What the hell is that mom!?" while I was checking out. He was in fact asking about a helicopter candy toy, and utilizing a phrase he heard on tv before I could get it turned off. It wasn't SO clear that I couldn't pretend he said something else. And so I did.

Your revulsion to "Silencio por favor" cracked me up!

I think you should do regular installments of these language lessons - they're hilarious. And very helpful. :)

And good job pretending not to hear but understanding what the hell he was talking about!Sometimes pretended ignorance really is the best policy.

Oh, s: I updated on the ole man. Youporbably already noticed, but I like getting comments from you, so I come over here to beg for them. :)

sounds like Benja is on track to be bilingual with all of his Dora watching.

Oh, Dora. Now that my kids are getting older, having young ones that will indiscriminately shout Spanish phrases at the TV is kind of fun.

My older kids HATE it. Which also adds to my fun. HAAAAAAA.... poetic justice, you Barney-worshippers!

Cool post. I miss my baby's foreign language. We still use some of those words in our household. Thanks for sharing!

I remember standing by your fridge taking something out. And when I closed the door Ben was right there waiting. 'Can I have a possibow?'
'A what?'
'A Possibow'
'A possible?'
'I don't know what a possib... (oh!) No, you have to ask your Mommy for popsicles.

Atencion Todos! Benja was borned in Home Depot, yesterda, and gets very excited about helicopter candy toys.

Ha!, that was great. I second CYM, you should do more of these. I love Benjaminese.

Silencio Por favor!!

This is hilarious! Love your blog - nice to get to know you!

Post a Comment