One of THOSE days
It really has been a quiet, peaceful kind of day for me. Only, I woke up 30 minutes before I had to be at a dentist appointment for Benja, that is 15 minutes away. No stress, I'm a mom, I can work miracles. Only, Avee had a vicious bought of diarrhea during breakfast, and whilst spooning in Honey Nut Spooners, thought she'd check out with her free hand, what she'd just done in her diaper. I won't gross you with the details but I DID say this, "Where did you get that peanut butter sweetie, num, num, trying a new topping for your cereal?" Fortunately she is an opinionated girl, wasn't interested and yelled until I got a clue.
I even went CLOTHES shopping with two little kids. That was actually a highlight of the day. Only, I just tried some things on Avee, and I'd like to send out this message:
To The Inconsiderate Woman Who Thinks She Has The Only Daughter With a Long Torso And Short Legs: Thank you so much for switching out the 12 month pants with the 18 month pants in the darling sage outfit at Kohl's. There's nothing wrong with you for THINKING of doing something like that, we all want to at some point in our shopping careers. But you are rude and egocentric for actually DOING it. This is a terrible violation of etiquette and common sense. I hope your daughter and you both spend many unhappy days in overly-large, sagging pants and high-riding crotch pinching onsie tops. Okay, I don't wish that on your daughter, but I hope she grows up with better manners than you. Now I have to go back to Kohl's and I HATE MAKING TWO TRIPS.
That is all.
While I was seething about this 2nd trip back that I have to take, I managed to lose a breast. Albeit, a chicken one, I still lost it. I do hope I find it before it grows too late and we discover a strange new breed of breast spawn under our couch.
While I was taking my mind off the lost chicken and making rice, I managed to tear a 20 pound bag of Kohula Rose rice and spill at least 8 and a half pounds of it on me as I was putting it back on the top shelf of my pantry. I am sure I will be finding rice grains in unsightly places for at least a week.
I'm moving to Australia.
I even went CLOTHES shopping with two little kids. That was actually a highlight of the day. Only, I just tried some things on Avee, and I'd like to send out this message:
To The Inconsiderate Woman Who Thinks She Has The Only Daughter With a Long Torso And Short Legs: Thank you so much for switching out the 12 month pants with the 18 month pants in the darling sage outfit at Kohl's. There's nothing wrong with you for THINKING of doing something like that, we all want to at some point in our shopping careers. But you are rude and egocentric for actually DOING it. This is a terrible violation of etiquette and common sense. I hope your daughter and you both spend many unhappy days in overly-large, sagging pants and high-riding crotch pinching onsie tops. Okay, I don't wish that on your daughter, but I hope she grows up with better manners than you. Now I have to go back to Kohl's and I HATE MAKING TWO TRIPS.
That is all.
While I was seething about this 2nd trip back that I have to take, I managed to lose a breast. Albeit, a chicken one, I still lost it. I do hope I find it before it grows too late and we discover a strange new breed of breast spawn under our couch.
While I was taking my mind off the lost chicken and making rice, I managed to tear a 20 pound bag of Kohula Rose rice and spill at least 8 and a half pounds of it on me as I was putting it back on the top shelf of my pantry. I am sure I will be finding rice grains in unsightly places for at least a week.
I'm moving to Australia.
Awwwwww... maybe a nice flight to Portland in a few days would cheer you up. THEN you can go to Australia.
LOL @ "unsightly places"... unsightly? No one's ever seen them?
Posted by
Millie |
Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:51:00 PM
I'm so glad you had a peaceful, no-stress, no rushing, non-peanutbutter-IT-IS-NOT-PB-GROSS!!! kind of day.
Why Australia? You don’t have to go so far away, you could move here, to the Great Northwest, nothing bad ever happens here! Really never, for example:
-rice has never spilled all over my floor, nevoh.
-I have nevoh bought mismatched sized Avee's baby clothes. Nevoh.
-Never lost any chicken pieces anywhere in my house. EVOH.
See? :)
Posted by
Super Happy Girl |
Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:56:00 PM
I wanted to be first.
>:(
Posted by
Super Happy Girl |
Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:57:00 PM
Did you find your breast? That about killed me, but the peanut butter....that really did me in. LOL LOL
I hope you have a better day tomorrow! :D
Posted by
Amanda |
Tuesday, November 14, 2006 8:52:00 PM
Millie--Unsightly cuz no one SHOULD see them. I think Portland will do the trick for my rice-laden-crevices-blues.
NCS--Australia because, well, that's what Alexander and the No Good Very Bad Day boy says in his book.
Quoting my children in your examples is HILARIOUS. And VERY convincing.
Amanda--Good to see you! Still no breast. Wouldn't you like to be a guest at my house in a week or so?
Posted by
Angela |
Tuesday, November 14, 2006 10:27:00 PM
Once when I lived with a sister, we lost a whole chicken and boy did the house smell for weeks.....we all looked for the smell but nobody found it.( not knowing at the time the chicken was missing) Then one day I went to make something for a friend that had followed me home from school in the microwave and low and behold there she lay. GROSS!!!! I am sorry I switched the clothes....even more sorry to have to FIND another christmas present for avee I have a LOT to do you know:)
Posted by
Anonymous |
Wednesday, November 15, 2006 8:19:00 AM
"Some days are like that. Even in Australia." I love that book! :)
Yesterday, a tore a large bag of noodles too far and they went everywhere too. Why do all my mishaps require a large amount of cleaning time?
Good luck and hopefully things will be better tomorrow! :)
Posted by
Suzanne |
Wednesday, November 15, 2006 10:28:00 AM
I broke a glass yesterday, and wasn't wearing my shoes OR my glasses... fortunately I didn't cut myself.
But still. Your bad day affected me negatively. I want an apology when I see you in 2 DAYS!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!
Does Italian sound good? Bri suggested a yummy-sounding place.
Posted by
Millie |
Wednesday, November 15, 2006 11:16:00 AM
Speaking of breasts, I was helping my cousin write an essay for his app to an unnamed church university in which he described dressing up all in pink for Halloween - his costume was the Breast Cancer Awareness ribbon...Anyway it was late at night and we started talking about how it might be good to include the word breast several more times in the essay - then he would for sure get in - for counseling. When we finished the essay, he typed this at the end: (.)(.) and he said if you want a larger cup size you can make them like this: ( . )( . ) Am I so crass as to still be laughing about it? Am I the only one who hasn't seen that sophomoric little play on punctuation already?
I hope you find your breast before Avee finds more peanut butter.
Posted by
Code Yellow Mom |
Wednesday, November 15, 2006 2:54:00 PM
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