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Why The Internets Shouldn't Raise Your Children

Several months ago Benja's aunt showed him a Spiderman trailer on Youtube and he's been a junkie ever since. He recognizes the screen immediately and asks for a "Spidohman Chwayloh" every time. So I put one on for him and walked away to microwave him a nutritious frozen burrito for lunch. When I came back a short 5 minutes later he was halfway through a trailer of the movie "Lucky Number Slevin" I don't know anything about that movie, only that it didn't hold my interest in the previews because it looked dark and violent. I immediately start my mama chant, "uh-uh-UH!" and quickly start clicking the back button on the internet browser. Where I learned he already made it through a preview for Terminator 4 before getting an eyeful of Lucky Number Slevin. Yeah, I'm a good mom.

He asks me why I'm making all his movies go away and I tell him it's not stuff for little boys to watch. Well, Spidohman isn't for little boys "eelo"(either), says he, but he's not like other little boys. Perhaps we may need to ease up on the positive reinforcement of every little thing and start teaching humility and modesty.

On another note, I am so blessed tired ALL THE TIME lately. The first wave of it hit me in the doctor's office last Wednesday when I had two blissful hours away from my children and pages and pages of Britney Spears sludge to catch up on. In the 4 minutes between the nurse taking my blood pressure and the doctor showing up to listen to the baby's heartbeat, I curled up on that comfortable, paper covered, exam slab table and fell asleep. I think I showed sincere annoyance at the doctor disturbing my sleep when he came in. He asked me if I was taking my prenatals, like that ever solves any problem. Just kidding. Since that incident, I have gone to bed around 9:30 every night, gotten really great sleep, taken naps, limited my activities such as, getting up to get a handful of cashews every 20 minutes, to just bringing the entire container to the couch with me. I hope it passes because this parenting in a drunken stupor is going to come back to haunt me, I'm sure.

I watched a little bit of the Oscars last night. I was really excited for Jennifer Hudson. That's about it for me. However, I did notice something I have never noticed before, the really ticked off faces of the nominees who didn't win. Particularly after Jennifer Hudson, there were two faces (I don't know who they were) and then I noticed it after Alan Arkin won. I thought that was thoroughly enjoyable. Sore losers. Heh.

The other thought/emotion I had was, since when did Al Gore become such a superstar? Dude! And I sure wish I could have been there when Ellen made her joke about him being robbed of his presidency SEVEN YEARS AGO!! Geez louise. Talk about sore losers.

Oh yeah and that Will Ferrell/Jack Black performance was classic. I was really glad I got to see that. In case you didn't see it:

I laughed pretty hard when they threatened to beat up all these nominees and then got to Mark Wahlberg and were all, "You're cool, you're talented, good luck." THAT was good stuff.

"Perhaps we may need to ease up on the positive reinforcement of every little thing and start teaching humility and modesty." He, he, he. But no. That's what the world is for. :)

And here's to parenting in a drunk stupor. Shoot. That's exactly what being so flippin' tired is like. And what exactly are prenatals supposed to do when you get sleep and still feel like you've been awake doing grueling physical labor for twenty straight years? I'm just sayin', I feel for you.

P.S. Ben can navigate YouTube? Awesome.

The only time I've ever been able to go to bed at a decent time is when I'm pregnant! I hear ya on the tired thing. Now pass those cashews! :D

"I guess you don't like laughter"

Ben is such a smart little guy, too bad the "fun killer" makes all his movies go away...sheeesh.

How could you fall asleep wearing that little gown with no back on?

I love sore losers! and to prove it I'll beat anyone down with my super No Award Award™

Jack Black is a total Oscar winner in my book. Oh yeah.

You know why parenting makes you so tired? Because these kids have so much dang energy. Just watching them exhausts me. No kidding you're tired. You're about to outnumber yourself & Jay.

Don't let see Ben
Say NO to 7 year old "pool sharks" (unless that's how you plan to retire).

LOL!! Thank you! I was going to try and find that video since everyone has been talking about it.

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