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Dreams And American Idol. Totally Unrelated.

This morning at 4:52 AM when I made my regularly scheduled pre-dawn visit to the loo, I got back in bed and began recalling my dreams of the night. I remembered several "segments" vividly and at the lucid hour of 5 AM, thought they were so bizarre. There's nothing like pregnancy or pizza to make my nighttime visions completely psychotic. Or random.

Now, at 8:24 PM after a long day at the zoo, waddling my pregnant butt around in 70 degree weather with two overdressed and scarcely napped children, I can't for the life of me remember any of those fascinating dreams.

I remember one small bit of one dream, there was something akin to kidney stealing but it was a small "organ" under the armpit that was easily retrieved by pulling back a thick flap of skin (almost like a fish gill) and removing a horseshoe shaped organ. This organ was easily interchangeable among people. This is important to know, I'm not just giving you useless information here.

I do remember from my ponderings as I lay in the dark how blogworthy these fascinating dream details were and I even came up with the clever line of, "Who needs LSD trips with pregnancy dreams like this." I won't even try to convey to you how clever I thought this line was at 5 AM. I could hardly wait until daybreak to type it all. And all I can say now is, too bad for you I'm a lazy mamacita. If I had only gotten out of bed then and blogged, you would be better for it. I am sure.

Nextly. I have never watched a whole American Idol Season. I've never really watched it at all, actually. I have flipped through it a lot in the past, but that was the extent of my commitment. I think it was Season 2 when Reuben and Clay were the finalists. I happened to be in labor the final night when Reuben won. My mom, who lived 4 hours away from me, came for Benja's delivery and managed to show up at the hospital 3 minutes after J and I checked in. She has impeccable timing.

However, while I thought she was there to offer support and encouragement, and advice, having birthed 9 children of her own, she showed up with another agenda. It was to watch the American Idol finale. Pardon my preshy for gettin' in the way of that. In between horrendous labor pains (oh, no more horrendous than anyone else's, but lest you think I wasn't in pain...) and then sobs of relief from the horrendous pains, I got to hear things like, "Oh, I sure hope that effeminate boy wins, I like the big boy, but I LOVE the effeminate one" and "shouldn't you get a bigger birthing ball, that one looks awful small for you." This was my first real exposure to American Idol and to be honest, it didn't do much for me. To be fair, anything compared to an epidural after a long day of contractions is going to pale in comparison. Big Big and Effeminate Boy notwithstanding. (I would just like to note here, in case you are the offendable type, which, I'm shocked you're reading my blog if you are, "effeminate" is not my mom's way of secretly calling the contestant gay without saying the word---there's a good chance that never even crossed her mind. However, she is 70, she can and does see fit to dress entirely in hot pink on a good day and doesn't feel the least bit confined by PC rules in not calling a spade a spade. If she sees a spade. Or in this case, an effeminate boy.)

Well, now I'm a pregnant, lonely, SAHM of two and I have all the time in the world to watch AI right when I should be helping brush teeth, put on jammies, read books, etc. So I do.

And tonight while I sat upright on the couch productively folding clothes lay on the couch, tears came to my eyes when Latisha started singing. I know, I know, I'm pregnant. But her voice moves me. I love her story. I love her demeanor. She doesn't seem contrived. It seemed like the first 5 or 6 times I watched her perform, and she blew the socks off of any competition, she would stand there nervously, not having any idea how phenomenal she is, waiting to be criticized. And instead she leaves Randy and Paula speechless or sputtering the same compliments over and over and makes Simon look like a fluffy ball of niceness. I'm good with words, aren't I?

Anyway, what I wanted to say about Latisha, besides what I've already said, is this. In my humble opinion, one should not try to imitate Whitney, Celine, or Martina and hope for it to turn out well. Those women's voices are just not easily imitated. So, most of the time when people try to sing one of their songs just like them, I just think "Oh honey, don't."

So tonight, I wasn't prepared for Latisha to sing Whitney, and halfway through the song I got tears in my eyes and chills up and down my arms. I have NEVER heard someone sing BETTER than the original. That just blows me away. And of course, it's just an opinion, but I swear it was even better. Perhaps I'm a little bias because Latisha doesn't have a known history with the wacky crack and crazy Bobby. I'm willing to accept that.

Also, Melinda's explanation of her OCD behavior made me laugh out loud. Being compelled to chew gum the same number of times on each side of her mouth and calling it "equal opportunity" and willingly confessing it on national television to millions is beyond cool in my book.

I just wanted to include this picture from our trip to the zoo. Seven kids photographed here. 6 of them are older than Avee. 2/3rds of them capable of complex thought processes and completing full sentences. All of them with ideas, opinions, minds of their owns. And who has to be facing in the complete opposite direction? The thing is, in her pantsless pose (yes, I'm that trashy), she makes it look like all the rest are facing the wrong way. How does she do it?


I'm first!

OK, I was on the phone with Melanie tonight, discussing the latest "my brain is weird" scenario with her, and she actually said, "And YOU'VE never tripped on acid!" So I totally get the LSD thing and how funny it is.

Avery went to the zoo without pants. I can't believe you.

I love Melinda and hope she wins.

P.S. I'm totally offended that your mom thinks Ruben is effeminate. He's the manliest hunk of man I've seen in a while.

I am a big fan of American Idol and I have to agree with you on Latisha. She is awesome - the best one of all the seasons combined in my opinion. Firstly for her singing and secondly for her humility. I thought she sounded better than the orginal, too. I think she should win with a close second being Melinda. At least you won't be in labor for that finale. A far cry better than the Big Boy and Gay Boy (I'm not PC either)

Okay pregnancy dreams rock and next time get your mama self out of bed and enlighten us!! When I was pregnant with #2 (a girl) I had a dream about #1 (a boy) holding hands with another little boy.. (2 girls later) it was clearly mommy trippin.. love the wacky crack comment!!

As for Avee.. I don't think I have ever met a child so on her own agenda, yet she makes you love her for it.. notice the group picture .. the rule following child at the end.. a little stress out over Avee positioning.. at least Avee has someone watching her back, wether she wants it or not!!!

I have pregnancy dreams about bloggers. I have blogged about them too. I'm sure a female will win American Idol this year, but I'm really hoping Chris Sligh will be in the top 3.

Do you mean to tell me I could have had dreams as good as LSD but didn't. I shall get prego again to check this out!! I want to tell you that both Melinda and Latisha are WAY out of their league doing this show. Both give me goosebumps. Both are so darn humble, the good thing is they do not have to win cuz dude I am already planning to buy their album. Its funny to watch others try to pull of a Whitney and get slammed, and Latisha to actually sound like Whitney heehee on you white girls:). I still love Whitney as you know.

Ok Rosie.....Clay is NOT gay has never said such and shame on you...outing him in this manner. And your mother shame shame on her.
I can't believe all that hair Avee has, I had to look twice to recognize her, she is still the Queen of Texas.

I want to go to the zoo again! I want to go w/ you! Maybe this time we won't take the "long" way home :)

I agree w/ S I had to look twice and count the children because I thought you posted the wrong picture. I didn't notice the munchkin w/ all that hair. She is so dang cute!

LOL! I have crazy dreams like that too and I don't even have pregnancy to explain it!

I'm with you on the inconsistency of watching AI. I think I've only watched 1 or 2 seasons the entire way, but all of them partly. This year has been pretty exciting! :)

Ok, so when do MY dreams come true?

I have not watched the Idol from last night (Tivo is saving it for me), I told Fashionista we need to watch it tonight before the results show. Latisha rocks, I have missed having a like Whitney singer, Latisha is IT for me, I also get goosebumps when she sings.

Avee is destined to do amazing things, just look at her. Mark my words and send me an autographed picture (will be worth millions in the future).

oh, man. my hubby accuses me of being on crack for the strangeness of my dreams when i'm NOT pregnant. now they're even wackier.
also, with both pregnancies i had at least one dream where the baby was supposedly a boy. i have one daughter already and the tech thinks this one is another. i really think the only thing prego dreams are good for is entertainment....and scaring other woman who are in early pregnancy or think they want to get pregnant...

Your organ dream...hilarious. I think I have one of those organs. But you can't have it and you better not try to steal it. For one thing, I'm very ticklish and for another, No. 3 has dubbed it as his stomping ground for now.

The zoo photo is priceless. That girl (shaking head with a smile and a tsk tsk tsk).

And um, girls, I don't want to be petty and I don't know much about nothin' else on TV, but I do know it's LaKisha, with a K in the middle. But you can also call her whatever descriptor Angela's mom wants to come up with. And man, she can SANG!

CYM, "LaKisha", that just shows you I had no clue to what her name is. If it has a "sh" anywhere I just can't keep up with it :)

O.M.Gosh. Not even a personal call from a Psychic could have prepared me for that AI vote off. I can’t believe Hula dancing Sanjayawhatever stayed :P

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