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I Might Make It A Musical

Last night I got to park in front of one of these:

It was every bit as thrilling as I imagined it would be. I have only ever seen these signs when I'm not pregnant. So, pulling into Kroger and seeing it, and being it and then doing it, it was all very exciting for me.

And now, I would like to share a scene with you from my appointment with the doctor this morning.

Scene: Expectant mother (see above) lying reclined on ever-so-comfortable ultrasound table.
Enter, Very Serious Doctor
(it should be noted, but is not overtly portrayed in this scene, expectant mother doesn't talk as much as she usually does or has in the past because her attempts at humor are either completely lost on or not appreciated by Very Serious Doctor. She also hates being talked to like she has a 3rd grade education when she is about to give birth to her 3rd child. However, it should also be noted, she understands most doctor's tendency to do this and is quite understanding. And beautiful.)

Doctor: Well hello there (briefly scans folder label)...Angela! How are things going?
Angela: They are going well!
Doctor: Do you have any questions for me?
Angela: (slight pause because she is a pleaser and would love nothing more than to offer a question to do her part with conversation and make the doctor feel good about having been so intuitive as to have asked, but remembers last time she asked a VERY good question, it didn't get answered, in. the. least. and really, she just can't be bothered by that kind of stuff) Nope. No questions. Things are going great.
Doctor: All right, let's check things out, see how things are going. He walks to the other side of room to retrieve ultrasound gel, with his back turned, Do you have any questions?
Angela: Nope. Meanwhile she shifts and maneuvers clothing as though she actually thinks there's any hope of decorum while lying on a table in a gynecology office. She modestly slides her maternity pants down an inch below her belly button because, well, there's still some decency in just an inch below the belly button. She knows Britney Spears didn't get in the tabloids showing her belly button. Doctor returns with gel, sees patients pathetic attempts to remain "proper", sighs and yanks waist of pants considerably lower than any ultrasound has any business being and the ultrasounding begins.
There are two minutes of complete silence and then:
Doctor: Looking good here--any questions?
Angela: (Biting tongue because she wants to say: Nope, not in the two minutes since you last asked. Or in the 30 seconds before that. Or in the 90 seconds before that...) Brightly: No, no questions here!
Doctor: (Finishing up and wiping 1 tablespoon's worth of the 4 cups of gel he has lathered on the patient's belly) All right, everything's looking good---now, do you have questions?
Angela: (Forcing herself to answer) No--but thanks!
Doctor: Okay, I want to see you in a week, take care, if you have any questions during the week, call me.
Angela: What, and miss an opportunity to actually have a question the 37 times you ask when I'm HERE?
Doctor exits, unaware that Angela has spoken. Mostly because she said it in her head, and OBVIOUSLY he ISN'T A MIND READER!!!

I think you should ask him next week where babies come from. Or how they get out.

And I LOVE those signs. The ones here say, "Expectant Mothers and Parents with strollers." Or something like that. When I go without kids, I just make sure my stroller remains in view in the back window so everyone knows I'm not abusing the close parking. :)

I tried so to be witty and clever whiles in labor one I WISHED like heck I would have said was "Can anyone tell me how this happen to me?"
I too love those signs and also am well on the way to using one myself, I just need to get my baby big enough to look as if I am really THAT pregnant again.;0
I think you should make this musical I believe you can get millions to relate:)
Being a nurse and all DO you have any futher questions?

Oh yes, she's is quite understanding. And beautiful. No doubt.

You should aks him why is it that people think the stork delivers them babies but you have never seen no stork.

PS: I should have known better, I made the mistake of having a drink (non-alcoholic Angela!) while reading. That's never a good idea.

I have a question.

Actually I don't.

I love those parking lot signs. You go to our mall, and the only thing they have like that is "This spot reserved for Sears Associate Of The Month." Like they give a crap about where they park at the mall.

Are you glad this is almost over? :)

Seriously? Wow, no wonder you cancelled last week's appointment. I think that is so sad. If you were here, Dr. Simckes would have made you hum the 1970s classic tune into the sonograph thingy while he pulled your pants down all the while quoting from the Princess Bride movie and insisting that you have to be Jewish somewhere in your tree!!

BTW - that classic tune goes something like this.. bomb, shicka-bomp, bompa bow woooww!

Scott just corrected me on that classic tune. It is actually, bomb, shicka-bomp, shicka bow woooowwww!

I'm always amazed that some doctors and nurses seem to have a great sense of humor, while others just seem to trudge through the job. How annoying that he asked if you had questions over and over! I agree with the above posts! You should have asked how you came to that condition! ;)

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