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Round 2

Ben came traipsing into the living room carrying a license plate frame that he only could have gotten to by climbing into the baby's crib.

"Did you get into the baby's crib? Were you playing in it? Is Avery in there now?"

Nothing like a barrage of questions at a small child to make him feel like communicating.

"No, I didn't get in the crib."
"Tell the truth Ben, I don't want you telling me a lie."
"I didn't get in the crib."
"Ben, that's not okay, I happen to know for a fact you got into the crib and I really don't like you not telling the truth. Now tell me, did you get into the crib?"


"I need your answer."
"I really don't want to answer you mom."
"Well, I really need to hear you tell me the truth," I say matter-of-factly.
He replies, just as matter-of-factly, "Well, I really don't want to hear you feel mad at me."

And he won. Why does he keep doing this to me? I'm so weak.

LOL I feel everyone envy that I was first!!!

keep them coming I will just sit at the computer baskin in Benja..isms!

You better toughen up. His blatant manipulation attempts are starting to work on your pregnancy-addled brain.

Go read my blog, quick.


I actually JUST read a chapter about why 4yo kids lie - it's actually a sign of really developed intelligence and perception of other people's feelings (i.e., you're upset and he doesn't want you to be).

What's really cool is that Ben could even articulate it: They want more than anything for you to be pleased with them, so they will shift or avoid the truth so they don't have to feel you be mad!

For what it's worth, this book said at this age to address the original behavior/rule that was broken (getting into the crib) because you, in your parental omnipotence DO know that he got into it, so asking him is kinda setting him up to lie. You can keep it at a safety rule discussion instead of a lying issue, which he doesn't exactly get the morality of at this point. It made sense to me...It said lying as blatant and deviant manipulation isn't what a 4yo is about - tackle it when they're a little older.

Whew. Nothing like parenting advice from a more or less clueless parent. But I know you love me, so you'll at least read it. :)

My main point was that you are not weak, your boy just knows how to tell you what he's really thinking! And that's very sweet, in my book.

Okay CYM, thank you SO much for that. Shauna explained this to me a long time ago. Like, 10 years ago when I was practically a 4 year old myself. I have been racking my brain trying to remember what she said and what part of social development "lying" played in order to respond to it most appropriately. I knew that lying to decieve didn't kick in until more like 8 or 9, but I couldn't remember why kids did it at this age. Makes complete sense and I appreciate the comprehensive reminder. Comment Hog.
What a smart little boy I have. If only his mama were as smart...:)

You're not allowed to punish that, it's in the handbook.

"Really sweet and clever remarks get a hug and a mini-lecture about safety or something, no mommy-mad voice."


Four year olds do not lie in MO

WOW to what CYM said (She's cool like that.)
You are a good mom Angela, yes, I'm always going to say that, because it's true.

This is why you should never feel like your work at home is pointless: Would random bored caregiver EVER understand that 4 year olds are seeking approval (and not seeking to deceive?) No, she wouldn't. And your kids wouldn't get the benefit of cookie dough direct from the tube.

p.s. And that really is some advanced figuring ability from Ben. As you know, I$aiah would have said something like "this whole thing makes me feel like four hundred cockroaches and I don't want to have this discussion!!!" And I would have been totally won over, too.

What a bunch of panty-waist moms.

"Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town - you used to pull out the hog and you used to eat it! YOU'RE HYPOCRITES!!!"

*giggling evilly*

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